Self Care/Self Love

My temporary workspace for the last 2 days.  I really like the desk and may change my worktable for a desk with drawers.

Though I remarkably restrained myself, I felt in the spirit of full disclosure that I should tell you I requested a room with 2 double beds so I could have the surface area to spread out. ;) 

Two days in a hotel by myself with some art supplies and "no obligations".  Sounds like heaven, right?   Well, for me, it was kind of difficult to jump right in due to missing my guys and my pup... even though the whole thing was my idea (and the hotel was about 10 or so minutes from home).  I chanted to myself on the way, "this is an act of great self-love", "how else am I going to get in the meditation time I crave so much right now?", "Do not go home".  After checking in and setting up, I glued one thing.  Then I ate and watched TV.  It wasn't even good TV.  Then I glued another thing and checked Facebook.  Really, I needed some time to decompress before inspiration hit. About 9:00 I finally got the paint out and really got going.  About 10:30, I called home and almost cried talking to Angelo.  He picked up on it and was sad. :(  *Insert best guilt releasing I could muster* More art making. A little "Soul of Healing" meditation with Deepak Chopra before bed and I slept peacefully.

The next morning, I meditated again and did some chakra balancing sun salutations.  By then, I was feeling so peaceful, I wasn't bothered by the fact that I had to eat, shower, etc. and wasn't using my art time to maximum efficiency.  Yes, I managed to work some guilt in about not doing what I loved enough in there the first day. Started art journal entries in the afternoon and by about midnight, I was still going strong. Then, an abrupt awareness that I needed to pack up if I wanted to do morning yoga before checkout made me sad.  Nothing is ever an experience with just one emotion, though, is it?  Even though it was only 2 days, and in some ways "not enough time", I was excited to get back to my family and eat in my own house.  But, it was so good and I'm so glad I did it.  Maybe there's a state park near that rents cabins??

Then, at home, I answered an email where I backed out of something I committed to because "it wasn't an absolute yes" (so it was a no... forget where I heard that, but it's good to remember.)  After sending that email, I was greeted by a newsletter from SARK that started by asking me "Do you ever feel guilty or worried about taking time and energy just for you? Most people do. Do you happily and easily change or cancel plans that no longer feel good? Most people don't.
Many people are motivated unknowingly by what i call *FOG or *PUS- or both! 

Fear

Obligation

Guilt

Pressure

Urgency

Scarcity


Copyright 2012 SARK. All rights reserved. Even though we are not.;-)"

That hit home on both accounts! 

Then, I found this post by Michelle Ward, the "When I Grow Up Coach" on self-care.  Seems there is a Universal theme going on!  

Also something I found recently that you may find inspiring and related: How to love yourself in 17 Ways  a post by Evelyn Lim.

Wishing you much Self Love and Self Care!!

Some Art from the Retreat

All of these are on canvas board, use acrylic paint, gel medium, inks and various papers (vintage and utilitarian). The image on the top one is a vintage photo I altered in Photo Shop. The bottom two use transparancies from ArtChix and the bottom one also uses a stamped image from Stampfrancisco.

Please comment below and tell me what you think! :)

Art Retreat Report

Where do I begin? How about some of the things I made in preparation for the art retreat?

First, I made crayon cupcakes (which I did a whole post on here), which I’ve wanted to do for a couple of years- since I got Collage Unleashed by Traci Bautista. They were easy to make and Angelo helped me by peeling off the wrappers (I had some boxes left over from his birthday party and a few broken ones I’ve collected. Really surprised there weren’t more broken ones) and breaking up some of the crayons. You can give them to your child or use yourself for some interesting coloring fun or use a craft/travel iron (one without holes) to make some really cool backgrounds. For the backgrounds, just melt some crayon cupcake onto the iron and smear around on cardstock or watercolor paper (I like the latter better). You can also melt some regular crayons without the paper onto the iron and do a print or smear around also.

I also tea dyed some silk gauze, cotton cheesecloth and cotton muslin. It helped with some great antiqued collages, including a Halloween one using an image from my collage sheets available on Etsy.

I filled my dye tub with enough water for the fabric to move around in, heated, but did not boil the water, added about 10-11 cheap tea bags, wet, rung and added the fabric and then let everything sit for a couple hours or so. I stirred once or twice, but since I was going for an aged look, was actually looking for a few dark spots.

Then I got to the retreat (I’m skipping over a lot of stuff, like how I was excited to go, but in tears because I’d be away from my babies so long and how I agonized over packing and shipping my supplies. I get separation anxiety with my family and my art supplies.) This is what my room looked like:

I was spoiled all week. I didn’t have to cook or clean, make my own coffee (which was available all day) and someone else (my husband mainly) was providing child and puppy care. And, best of all, I got to spread out my supplies and leave everything and make art as long as I wanted, only being interrupted by food and potty breaks. I didn’t even sleep that much since I was so excited about all the ideas I had. I got to make the shrine for Tara, which I’ve wanted to make for a very very long time. It was labor intensive and sweet and emotionally difficult at the same time. I don’t think I would have been able to do it at home. It took so long to make, I think I would have had to spread it out over months and I might have gotten discouraged. There, I was able to work for hours straight (except for food, potty breaks and getting some experimentation out of my system). Once it was finished, I banged out a bunch of Artist Trading Cards, some small canvases and a cardboard piece. I will post pictures of all that later, but for now, I’ll add some pics of my dyed paper towels (which I hung on the line outside to dry and thought looked like tie dyed cloth diapers). The technique for this is also in Collage Unleashed.

It was a wonderful week. I laughed, I cried and I have been trying to adjust to being back “in the real world”. I also have been refusing to clean up after anyone but myself and occasionally Angelo (and once Dana, but usually I don’t have to do that. She’s such a good girl!) I’ve noticed that after a week of having to do it all [mostly] by himself, my husband is more self motivated in taking care of Angelo and the house. This is excellent, because I definitely plan on running away, um, I mean taking another trip by myself again in the near future.

Let the Detox begin!

Now that Angelo has not nursed for 3 weeks +, I've started a gentle detox. Just some lemon juice in hot water in the morning, some Yogi detox tea (just picked it up yesterday, so on the second cup- yummy!), and cutting down on grains and dairy. Nothing major to report, but I'll keep you updated.

I'm also going to an art retreat in upstate NY!!! I'm soo sooo sooooooooo excited about this, I can't even begin to tell you. But, I'll try. It is in Greenville, NY in a rural Victorian inn with forest reserves and antique shops nearby. Besides as many art supplies as I can stuff into my two checked and 1 carry on bag will handle (I'll save a pocket for clothes and deoderant, but that's really not too important), I'm taking a journal to do plenty of writing (daily, which is plenty relative to what I do now) and a yoga mat, maybe even a blanket (though don't want to take up too much room so I can fit in more art supplies) so I can do yoga outside.

It is a self-directed retreat where breakfast, dinner and an afternoon snack are provided. They have converted the carriage house into the art studio. I think there are 13? 15? rooms, so I won't be crammed in there with a bunch of people. I'll be free to just make and make and make as much as I want!!! That will go reallllllly far with detoxing my mind and spirit.

I was nervous right after we booked it, of course, because it will be a whole week away from my babies and I've not been away by myself even overnight since before Angelo was born. But, I got over that and am just so so sooooo excited!!! I leave in less than a month!!!

Don't want to write too much now since Angelo is finally asleep and it's just me and the kids here until Friday when Eric gets home from Charleston. Lots of people out of the office and he was called in to cover. So, I'm going to take advantage of this time and glue some stuff! :)